Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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