you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
