I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
