so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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