Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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