I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
