and next time when you feel me up, do it right
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
