Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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