Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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