just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
