I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
