She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
