shes about as inviting as chlamydia
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
