Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
