What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
