I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
