You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
