Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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