Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
how does that bad decision feel?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
