singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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