Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
