watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
