Im at strip club and am horny
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
