Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
