Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
