do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I think I am morally bankrupt
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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