someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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