im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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