I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
