Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
