I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
