i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
