I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
