I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
