believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
