I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
