its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
it's great music for shaving your balls
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
