so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
