there's paper in my vomit.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Randomize
