i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We had sex on a dog bed..
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