Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Randomize
