Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
