i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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