i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize