The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
