Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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