you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
