I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
