my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
