We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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