You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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