Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
