all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Randomize
