You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
