I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
