What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
