so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
