found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
