i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
