you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
