peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
