Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
