It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
God, I missed his penis.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
