I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Of course I have a pirate flag
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
